Send a fatwa in two steps!!
Who needs a Fatwa? [name]
What did this person do wrong?
aborting foetus Jesus
beating up Santa Claus
hanging my balls in the christmas tree
liberating our christmas tree
listening to any song by Maria Carey (christmas related or not) without vomiting multiple times
listening to Last Chistmas (by Wham) without vomiting
not beating up Santa Claus
peeing in the egg nog
sending me christmas cards reflecting your sense of humor
serving alcohol free egg nog
sexualy harassing the christmas turkey
starting an anoying religion by lying about your baby
stuffing the turkey with chocolate
telling x-rated christmas stories to my kids
touching my mistletoe
using the birth of Christ as an example of what happens if you don't use a condom
using the words bitches and hoes in a christmas carol
How will this person be punished?
by being involved in both embarrassing and unsatisfying sex scandals
by being outsourced to India
by being subject of an entire repetoire of football chants
by being transfered for a lower amount than the janitor
by driving compact cars
by driving like an old lady
by getting caught in backwards moving traffic jams
by getting stuck at a roundabout
by getting stuck in an elevator with ordinary people
by having lunch in utmost Desolation and Solitude
by losing the ability to lie and manipulate
by losing the ability to say NO to Jehovah witnesses
by only being asked for orthopedic shoe commercials
by releasing your stomach contents in the laps of world-leaders
by taking Prozac instead of steroids before a game
by unlearning words like commitment and teameffort
by waking up each day with a solid combover
by waking up with the wardrobe of a christian hippie
by wearing my aunts clothes
by your nike swoosh falling off your shoes
with 6 hours meetings
with a cappuchino allergy
with a conscience
with a constant flow of embarising lunch moments
with a fatal bruising
with an intelligent electorate
with an office full of colleagues with a sense of humor
with bad cases of Giles de la Tourette during lunch with important clients
with bad cases of Giles de la Tourette during speeches
with bad hair days
with bad parking space
with diarrhoea in an out-of-style odour
with extreme penile shrinkage
with extreme penile shrinkage during after-game-showers
with fatal hemroids
with flatulance in an out of style odour
with hichhikers with uncontrolable flatulance
with horrifyingly bad parking spaces
with intense boldness
with malodorous secretaries
with mass bird droppings on your car
with pink business cards
with referees as corrupt as a Ukraine politicians
with speeding tickets
with subzero stock prices
with tires flatter than your own wallet
with uncontrolable flatulance
with uncontrolable flatulance during election speeches
with uncontrolable flatulance during presentations
with unmotivated hooligans
For more Fatwa freedom check out our
specialty Fatwas
below
website analysis
